Again practicing Kriya Yoga today and being around others on the path of self - discovery and spiritual practice, questions appear in the mind at every interval or opening of the breath. Is God complicated or are we? When making the mind one pointed and steady where there are no thoughts, often I encounter one flying thought, which is desperate to be noticed.
I came in from a long day at the hospital the other day and sat down for my meditation. It was one of those days I felt like I have no answers for anything and although my life satisfying and having a deep contentment for all that I am doing these days, it seemed that our creator has made life very difficult for us all. I am never angry with God but frustrated that it all seems a little hard to find self-realization when most things around us are pulling us towards the outer world.
We can learn from anyone
It is said in most spiritual books that God does not give any of us more than we can handle so we should rest assure that we are getting the right amount of difficulty for the amount of effort we are able to put out. But this is fine with outer work but inner spiritual investigations don’t come quick or in an obvious way. Even after all these years of self-practice I see that there is much to do in the years to come. When I read one of the yogis in the book I am reading laugh when Yogananda asked him about the 45 years he has been meditating, “God is eternity itself and to think you we can understand that in such a short time is preposterous but saying that even a little meditation each day will open one inner eyes.”
Well, that put into prospective my last decade of practice, but then also every time I feel frustrated at the slowness of it all, I get a new little breakthroughs, which shows me how far I have come (in terms of eternity no where!). It is all in the self-practice and those quiet moments you share with your God and asking for guidance, For you will have your answers maybe not when you want but when you are listening.
Camerongoodhealth.com
on Dec 24th, 2008 at 11:24 am
I do understand your frustration Cameron.
I practiced introspection during at least 5 years. The goal of this self-observation and reflexion was to help me to focus on my behavior rather than my consciousness. But I truly can tell that it opened my mind to something deeper. During this hard time I went through, I never really got the right answers but what I learnt is to stop asking myself the wrong questions. I also understood that to achieve my best I needed to know what the worst was in myself. I had hard time to turn myself in someone more tolerant, less critic with high expectative and no self-confidence. I was impatient and frustrated all the time. I put so many efforts trying to become a better person by changing the way I thought and I acted at this time that I didn’t understand why I didn’t notice the results of my hard work. But desperately wanting to reap the fruits of his labor before they are truly ripe, does only bring impatience, frustration and anger.
Therefore, I learnt my lesson from this experience : never project myself too far and live every single moment in the satisfaction of what I have accomplished so far. Each time I feel frustrated about something, it reminds me that I am strong enough to overcome this frustration and continue to move forward whatever the obstacles are. If I had known that I was preparing myself to 5 long years (or so) of questioning, I would have give up from the very beginning and I would certainly be in a state of stagnation at this time, depressed and defeatist. Because of my hard work and of the people I met on my path those past 8 years, I can say today that “I become who I am” (Nietzsche) day after day and that I really start to be in peace with myself. And yes, I feel frustrated sometimes because progress is too slow regarding the energy and the efforts I put in trying to become a better person.
My point is that we all experience the frustration in different ways but if we assume that the frustration is linked to the notion of time, with some sense of humor and a little of self-derision, it is easier to overcome the frustration and say that we could never go faster than light anyway.
Namaste.
on Dec 24th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Merry Christmas and blessings to you Cameron and all. I think you are on the right track. Not only are you right to always be disposed to God’s guidance in meditation, but also aware that if we could all get our miniscule (in terms of eternity) minds to fully grasp and understand everything about God, would you really want to believe in something so small? Leave no room for something so defeating as frustration, rather trust that God’s guidance, if you ask for it, will take you to where God fully intends for you to go. Everyone has their own gift to share. Your light is a gift.
on Dec 25th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
CAMERON keep your eyes open for opening/opened doors.Sometimes we don’t notice changes immediately.We are so over focused in our conscious minds that we have to first relax the mind so that things come to the mind which are new.And since you are shifting energies strongly and powerfully doing Kriya Yoga,give yourself and things generally some time - anything from a few hours,over-night,a few days,weeks,months - to notice the changes.You write your blog alright and of immense importance is The Journaling of your Kriya Yoga practice.Especially when you also write about your aim,intention,feelings and observations which follow upon doing the Kriya Yoga.And it is beneficial to leave some space after the journaling of every practice so one can go back after some time and write down the changes that have happened in one’s daily life - any minor change is a BIG CHANGE in disguise because the minor changes accumulate to form the big changes so they are the stepping stones to the big changes.
I have just begun learning and doing something new myself and it has similarities to Kriya Yoga.It is also divine.And i have to keep journal like i have written above.
quoting you Cameron :
”Well, that put into prospective my last decade of practice, but then also every time I feel frustrated at the slowness of it all, I get a new little breakthroughs, which shows me how far I have come (in terms of eternity no where!). It is all in the self-practice and those quiet moments you share with your God and asking for guidance, For you will have your answers maybe not when you want but when you are listening.”
~ It is natural! This is my natural feeling all the time and i keep getting into moments of panic untill i find some guidance somewhere which gives me renewed energy.So?
Cameron what do you want to hear from God my love?Do you want to hear God’s voice?It should be in your heart.And love you are right,we get our answers when we are listening because when we are only ‘wanting’ ~ our minds are too busy with the idea of only ‘wanting’.When we let go then we free our minds to ‘listening’ and we get our answers.Because we hear them anywhere and everywhere.
on Dec 25th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Thank you Cameron!